Writing Process Blog Hop: "Tag! I'm it."

Thanks to writer and colleague Jillian Maas Backman author of Beyond the Pews, a fascinating tale of how Jillian grew up as a pastor's daughter yet found she was connected to other spiritual experiences outside her bricks and mortar church, I've been tagged to participate in the worldwide Writing Process Blog Hop. Each participating writer agrees to answer a few simple questions everyone wants to know; that is, how does a writer do what he or she does?

What am I working on? 

Oy! Everything! I'm revising and updating my book DYING TO LIVE: Running backwards through cancer, Lupus, and chronic illness that was first published in June 2013. I'm also working as a ghostwriter on two book projects and have a new client that is interested in various marketing communications materials. I try to keep up with my blog that helps educate and heighten awareness of the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study (www.acestudy.org) that scientifically proves if you are neglected and/or abused as a child you are highly likely to get sick as an adult. This past year, I've included writings on suicide prevention and how survivors fare since my dear brother completed suicide last August. Admittedly, I've taken a bit of a break this summer. 

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Raw honesty. I am not afraid to talk about anything that has happened to me personally while respecting the privacy of those around me. Those who have read my book and my blog posts appreciate the opportunity to identify with things that people don't usually talk about. I bare my soul. With client work, I always find the 'hook,' or the one thing that is usually buried within all the information they provide and that's the 'aha' moment that drives my marketing pieces.

Why do I write what I do?

Mostly to heal and to retain my sanity. I also enjoy entertaining myself and my readers. I always inject humor into everything I write and one of my favorite credos is find the funny. I have learned that even in the most dire of situations or circumstances, there is joy somewhere, somehow, some way - we just have to look for it.

Up next on August 18th is Delilah Jones of Imagine Publicity  followed by Donna R. Gore a.k.a. "Lady Justice," host of Shattered Lives radio program and premier blogger on August 25th. Donna's first book will be published soon.

Glory Days

Glory is fleeting because there is always hard work left to be done. While my book won an impressive award as a Next Generation Indie Book Awards Finalist and I was feted and celebrated over several days last week at Book Expo America including a gala reception at The Harvard Club and a one-hour autographing session in the Headline Books booth, I am still reeling from all the events and experiences.

And I'm pretty sure trekking around Manhattan and the Jacob Javits Center carrying loads of books and materials threw me into a Lupus flare. On the eighth hour of the second day, I knelt down to re-arrange my bag and literally could not rise up! I took a deep breath and prayed my knees would do it just one more time. They did and I knew it was time for me to leave. Taxi!

The brightest spot came when one potential publisher read my book overnight and invited me back to her booth the following day. She gave me constructive criticism and I agreed with everything she had to say. So I will be revising and re-writing for awhile to finish this journey I began almost five years ago. I believe I will have a real publisher when I finish the work and I am highly impressed with her brand.

Other 'publishers' wanted me to pay for upfront costs such as reformatting, printing and marketing. There is no such thing as an advance anymore unless you are a well-known figure of some celebrity or established author. I politely declined their 'offers.'

It's a slippery road from writing a story that many have said is important and worthwhile for a large population of readers and I will persevere. As my prospective publisher said, I'm "this close" to a fine, finished product. She held her fingers one inch apart.

There were many other highlights including enjoying lunch with a costumed pirate one day at a shared table and learning that his day job is as caretaker of a now-deceased famous author's home on a beach in New Jersey. I met with a lovely British publisher who was eminently professional and kind even though he regretfully told me my book would not fit into his line. And on day two, I was privileged to sit with a publisher of military books. We had a fascinating conversation; one which ended with him describing his passion to me - spending time in one of eight abandoned beach cottages somewhere in Cape Cod. He won the yearly lottery to enjoy his week in September with no electricity or creature comforts and he was thrilled and animated as he spoke of it. I was enthralled.

I reconnected with an old work colleague who has authored several best-selling books and one that was made into a movie. It was wonderful to see Lorenzo Carcaterra and congratulate him on his successes. I was also happy to meet and chat with Steven "Stevie D." Dupin, a Los Angeles-based comedian and writer whose book also debuted at this year's BEA. Since it's one about fighting cancer and winning the war, we traded books and stories and he is an extremely likable Kentucky-born husband and father.

I shared a one cab with a publisher's representative who gave me a lead. I walked miles to visit each exhibitor's booth that I had pre-selected from the more than 1000 exhibitors there. I was handed free books that just added to my already-cumbersome load. Although I feel that I found 'the one,' I will be following up with many more over the next couple of weeks.

It was an amazing experience and one I will treasure forever. I'm 'this close' and yet it still seems so far away. Thank you to all who have supported my journey running backwards through cancer, Lupus and chronic illness. And please remember to learn about The ACE Study and how we can educate physicians how to interrupt disease in adults who have been maltreated as children. It's my mission and I'm sticking to it.

Awards and Plants

My book, DYING TO LIVE: Running backwards through cancer, Lupus and chronic illness won an award from Indies Unlimited, an organization that celebrates independent authors "whose body of work is not obligated to a single large publishing company." It was a wonderful surprise to open an email with the heading "Congratulations" and learning all the benefits of the award itself, including a reception and medal ceremony on May 28 at The Harvard Club in New York City, a one-hour book signing in a publisher's booth at Book Expo America May 29th to 31st and a 20-minute video chat produced by Shindig.com. Plus, over the four day period, I have the opportunity to meet and mingle with authors, agents, publishers and distributors and announcements of my award and work will be included in numerous publications and on several websites.

Funny thing is, I haven't made a dime from this book; nor did I or do I have any expectations that I ever will.

But it doesn't matter. Writing the book was a healing exercise for a chronically-ill person like me. It was my gift to the scads of others who are similarly struggling with acute disease, especially those who can tie it directly to maltreatment during childhood. The ACE Study proves that children who were neglected or abused are then biologically pre-disposed to getting sick as an adult.

A funny thing happened on the way to this forum - I've changed. Since publication of my book last June and the death of my brother last August, I've been re-traumatized and fumbling around trying to figure out who I am - again! My Statue, as described in my book, was my visualization for me, myself, and I and, most importantly, how I was doing that day or should take care of myself.

For example, if I woke up in the morning and visualized my Statue strong and tall, I went out confidently to face the world. If I woke up and saw a crack down the middle, an arm broken off, or it rocking back and forth on its foundation, I knew I needed to be kind to myself that day. Since my brother's death and just like when I was smacked down with Stage IVB cancer and Lupus, my Statue is not only dust, it is missing!

Where did it go? How could I get it back? Well, the answer finally revealed itself to me. I don't want it back. I am a living, breathing, growing organism who should not steel herself to the world as a block of stone. I should be open to healing and love and less guilt and worry. I am a newly planted bush, just rooting in the soft earth and sprouting baby leaves and tiny white flowers. It's my fourth 'new normal' in this life.

The lesson is that we can all remake ourselves, one tiny bud at a time. Change the self-image and you change the person. My life is no longer on hold. I have a lot of new things to explore.

Let the Children Speak

Recently, I was connected to another child advocate whose voice and messages are compelling. I do not know how Brett A. Scudder accomplishes ALL the goals and objectives, including coming to the aid of those who are suicidal he lays out in his mission statement, but I know I want to remain in his orbit to improve societal conditions overall and see how he effects change in and around the New York City area and beyond.

This particular post he shared struck a chord and I asked if he would agree to be a Guest Blogger. I hope you enjoy his commentary as much as I did and find reason to listen to the children, even the smallest of children, so we can protect their interests as well as the safety of their parents and caregivers.

(I placed certain sections in bold.)

GUEST BLOGGER: Brett A. Scudder of the New York Humanitarians Network "NYHN", NYC Community Activists Network, and SISFI's Abuse & Suicide First Aid Response and Wellness Centers “ASFARWC”

"Got a distress call from a 29y/o single mom going through real challenges with her mom that's affecting her 7y/o son. For the 2 1/2hrs we were on the phone she cried deeply expressing her not wanting to live, not wanting to wake up, being so tired, frustrated and disappointed with her mom and questioning the evil mindset she has and is dishing out on her and her son because they are now living with her. This triggered the issues of the suicide of her brother and challenges she faced because her brother took his life because she was ill and he felt that he couldn't take care of her nor watch her suffer like that. For the entire 2 1/2hrs I spoke only a few times to remind her to breathe as she opened up.

"She offloaded some deep, painful and hurting things and while she cried, her 7y/o son watched and listened as she tried to find balance in all the madness. After a while he figured it was time to step in so he walked up to here and I heard this, 'Mommy, why are you stressing so much, huh. You don't have to be so stressed. We don't have to stay here. We can leave and go somewhere else so you don't have to stress and cry so much. Mommy, please stop crying and let's go.'  

"My eyes opened wide, ears perked up, I held my breath and my heart stopped beating, I was silent, intrigued, mesmerized and listened attentively to his every word as now he was right next to her talk and I could hear him clearly. I envisioned the look on his face while saying that and it just burned my heart, burned to know that at 7y/o he had to witness and experience seeing his mother break down like that. She had always been very careful of not breaking down in front of him but this time it was too much, too much for her heart and mind to handle and she just open the flood gates and let the tears flow.

"She tried telling him she wasn't crying and that she was ok but unbeknown to her, she was so caught up in the emotional breakdown she didn't realize what was happening to her and how she was reacting. I finally got her to calm down and relax enough to have a conversation with him so they both could breathe. She was so worn out she was tired but couldn't find sleep. I sent her one of my favorite 3hrs Zen/Spa instrumentals for them to lie down to and rest. I told her to keep me posted as the night progressed if she still wasn't able to sleep. She had to be at work a few hours later but managed to get some rest from what she text me when she got to work.

"The message in all this is, as adults and parents, when going through life’s challenges, stressors or traumatizing circumstances, our children are aware of, understand (to some extent) and are sometimes present during them, and what affects us affects them as well. They see, hear, know and understand more than we give them credit for (because of their age), especially the children who we believe don’t understand or can handle things. We misunderstand that age doesn’t limit intellect and so even at their young ages some of them truly do know and understand more than we know because we talk and act around them knowingly and unknowingly at times and they learn quickly. It’s not for them to be able to handle things, it’s for us to communicate with them so they understand the level that applies to them and being able to cope with and overcome the impacts. 

"Too many of our youth are living the hurt, pain and suffering we as adults and parents face because we bring it to them, or we are around them while being impacted by challenges and our attitude, behavior and methods of dealing with and coping (or not) does impact them and we must recognize that. In most cases they don’t get emotional support to deal with the impacts of seeing a parent (especially a mother) go through their challenges and so they internalize the emotions which in far too many cases manifests into anger, violence, abuse and hatred of others and self and other behavioral issues. Yet, unchecked, we get angry and upset at them for their behavioral issues not realizing that we may very well have been the cause of the issues and now we're compounding it on them even more.

"This is a very serious issue and I can’t talk about it enough so let’s keep talking about it and helping ourselves and our children to effectively deal with life’s challenges because sometimes it’s not by our own doing that they happen but by those we allow in our lives.

"Be prudent in how you act and speak around children.

"I didn’t tell her that when she called I was on my way to the emergency room because I wasn’t feeling well so I couldn’t take her call or talk with her. I pretty much stopped in my tracks when I heard the distress in her voice so she could talk about what was happening. This way I would be able to see if it could wait for me to get checked out first. While she talked, I stood outside so as not to lose the call or have too much distractions. Thank God I was very well layered up for being out there so it was ok. I spent the night in the ER under observation and came home the next morning. No one ever plans for life challenges to hit us but when it does, the most important and life-saving thing one can have and hope for us someone willing to listen and take time to do so effectively. 

"This is why I take my work so seriously because I know that at any breath a call can come in and it may be someone one step away from a life threatening situation and I must be ready to effectively react and respond to be that lifeline. If I told you how many suicidal cases I have and have worked with you’d be amazed. I LOVE my life, work and ministry of Love. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere or doing anything else than this. One Love."

* * *

As you know, I often write about The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study that proves negative childhood experiences can impact adult physical illness. My book describes my own traumatic experience and how my early childhood may have resulted in the terrible auto-immune diseases I suffer as an adult, including a bout with Stage 4B cancer.

Thank you, Brett, for being such a dedicated advocate for so many. Specifically, I thank you for your work on behalf of all our children.

Brett A. Scudder

When the Survivor Needs Help to Survive

Everyone knows me as a survivor and relies on me for guidance. It's a role I selected naturally and honestly after a two-pronged, near-fatal battle with cancer and Lupus in the late 1990s followed by post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and continuing chronic illness. Add early childhood maltreatment as evidenced by the National Centers for Disease Control and Prevention 20-year Adverse Childhood Effects Study that links childhood trauma to long-term health and social consequences and it's a miracle I stand upright.

So it's no surprise that this survivor needs help to survive now and then; particularly after her beloved brother commits suicide six months prior and sends her into a tailspin. I know all the right things to do but mind over matter is easier than it sounds, even for a 'survivor' like me who inspires others to keep on keeping on. In fact, a friend recently told me I need to read my own book; but I simply think I need to add a Survivor's Survival Kit to the second edition.

Perhaps I can fashion such a kit out of the the essentials the United States Government says we need in case of an emergency:

WATER: Yup. Stay hydrated to replace all the tears. One gallon of water  per day for every day I cry for more than one hour.
FOOD: Proteins are best to keep up my strength and colorful fruits make me smile but carbohydrates, especially cake and cookies, are permitted. They make me feel better, even if only for a short while. All should be non-perishable in case I don't get out of bed.
BATTERY-POWERED OR HAND CRANK RADIO: Ha, ha, ha! Nope. I'll take my chances with my laptop so I can see how all the happy, pretty people are living their care-free lives. I will also get briefly elevated or further saddened by all the sentimental viral posts I must see or watch plus the funny ones that do make me crack a smile here and there.
FLASHLIGHT AND EXTRA BATTERIES: Okay. I'll have that, too, for when I can't sleep and I need to read under the covers.
FIRST AID KIT: Ideally, mine will be filled with a Peach Bellini, a card from a friend, an amethyst crystal that belonged to my brother, and all my medications so I don't have to worry about refills EVER.
WHISTLE TO SIGNAL FOR HELP: My dog knows my whistle and curls up next to me when I am sad or suffering.
DUST MASK: This will help keep visitors away. They will think I have a disease.
DUCT TAPE: This is used to cover the mouths of all those asking for my advice. I'm sorry I can't help you right now. SHUT UP!
MOIST TOWELETTES: The closest I get to a shower some days.
WRENCH OR PLIERS: To throw at things when I'm angry.
MANUAL CAN OPENER: Also good for throwing.
LOCAL MAPS: I'm not going anywhere so I don't think I need these in my survival kit. If I did go somewhere, it would be a place as yet unknown to me or others.
CELL PHONE WITH SOLAR CHARGER: Do they really make those things? And if everyone is in survival mode, will we all have them? I doubt it so who would I be calling? In my opinion, also good for throwing.
OTHER: This is a random category I have added. It holds many boxes of tissues, cream for my sore nose, English breakfast tea, a personal chef, Bananagrams, stupid television, books, and, most importantly, the will to live. 

That's my kit! What do you think? Have any things you can add? Right now, though, I'm going to watch Let's Make A Deal. Comedian Wayne Brady as the host can always brighten my day.

Staying Alive! GUEST BLOG

GUEST POST

This week my blog is happy to present Donna R. Gore a.k.a. "Lady Justice" who seeks to right wrongs within the criminal justice system, particularly for the families of victims of homicide, yet also shines a bright spotlight on numerous causes on her own blog and radio show, Shattered Lives. I was privileged to be a guest on the show this past Saturday. Podcast link is below. Thank you, Lady Justice!  

John Travolta’s character, (Tony Manero) In Saturday Night Fever was a carefree Brooklyn youth and dance idol on the weekends. His “star qualities” assisted him in temporarily forgetting the reality of his life: (i.e. a go nowhere job, conflicts with bickering parents, racial tensions in his community, and his “too cool, macho” friends.)

“Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive

Life's goin' nowhere, somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life's goin' nowhere, somebody help me, yeah
Stayin' alive….”

(http://www.metrolyrics.com/stayin-alive-lyrics-bee-gees.html)

Amy Susan Crohn had her own Italian Stallion, Will, who stood vigil, was a devoted husband and gave Amy the fortitude to stay alive….

Constance Porter, a sophisticated magazine writer – photographer was in charge of the ship’s log in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1944 movie, Lifeboat.  “Providing she could show the copyright in all publications…”   The lifeboat held eight survivors following a Nazi torpedo attack. NOTICE THE FACT THAT CONNIE DRAGGED HER TYPEWRITER ON A LIFEBOAT!!! [Ladyjustice thinks that Amy Susan Crohn would have done the same thing…After all a girl has to make a living…life boat or no life boat!] Everyone has to STAY ALIVE!  See the classic trailer:

 

Such is the essence of life…whether real or imagined….. In Amy’s case, it was almost too tragic to be real…. But it was…. And…. make no mistake…her book, “Dying to Live; Running Backwards through Cancer, Lupus and Chronic Illness,” is definitely not just another tragic real life drama… for it has deep roots in medical research. Amy was the one to excavate information and innovate…. linking childhood deprivation and abuse to adulthood disease and chronic illness, in addition to the possibility of premature death…   Why is no one talking about this? Why don’t MDs know?

The “Shattered Lives” team, with Amy as guest, set out to make others aware of the emotional toll, and what “professional patients” and doctors need to do as soon as possible!

                    LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

• Delilah on “Shattered Lives,” a radio show to learn from… as in life;
• Introduction to our guest and her book;
• Page 122:  “A medical rollercoaster” ;
• Amy’s description of her journey – Stage Four Cancer and Lupus…. Close to Death…. And… the Aftermath that goes with it;
• “The Statue” – A visualization…an alter ego, a barometer…
• The need for bravery and doubt in the face of tragedy and chronic illness…;
• The W’s…. What who, where, when, how, ….
• Delilah asks, What compelled Amy to write her book?; Expressions of healing…
• Ladyjustice’s  “aha” moments… matching her life and medical experiences with Amy’s;
• A lawsuit …and no chance of winning;
• A doctor without integrity…. “A MA…stake”
• Delilah asks about Amy’s opinion on the care that is doled out versus the care that we really deserve?
• The “Dear Doctor” story….  “Work with me….”
• The “Horror” of being prepared;
• Amy’s hope starting with Grand Rounds;
• Ladyjustice asks about the important elements (i.e. the Ace Study-Adverse Childhood Experiences);
• For over 20 years if  maltreated or suffered  trauma as a child, patients have an 87% likelihood of developing  physical, and psychological – psychiatric illness as an adult;
• Question types discussed on the ACE;
• Amy’s score on the test…
• What’s the Resiliency Survey about?  Amy discusses other prerequisites needed;
• If you have a score of one on the ACE, is it important?
• Ladyjustice speculates on resiliency and premature death;
• Amy discusses the  many difficulties of revealing your illness when you’re sick;
• A discussion of toxic stress- trauma and “the roller coaster ride”
• You want to get on with your life and not  have physicians “just treat the symptoms…”
• Amy’s opinion on diseases of heredity and those we acquire “randomly;”
• Coping with stress…. Bolstering the immune system;
• Descriptions of Amy’s Mom and Dad…. What were the issues and how to deal?
• Crying for help… but who listened?
• Ladyjustice comments on the importance of having a home and her multitude of jobs to survive;
• Delilah comments on Amy’s fortitude, her lack of nurturing childhood and losing it all….  She asks, “What did you gain?”
• “The After Cancer Amy;” and “Earth is a School” according to Amy;
• A sad commentary on her mother and father’s lives;
• “When I don’t feel good, I really doubt myself…. “
• Working for TV Cable Week – Amy’s gift and solace;
• Foster parenting – a retrospective comment on what it was like then and now regarding child protective services;
• Ladyjustice’s AMA vision for Amy;
• ***Amy’s special message for a relative who made it all worth it….“the greatest gift”
• Amy’s Contact Info: http://www.dyingtoliveamy.com/;
• Amy’s Parting Message:  “We Don’t Cause our Own Illnesses….We Are Vessels… All things that come into out mind, body and soul are put there for a reason …..”

Questions You May Have…

• What’s the difference between a misdiagnosis and a “missed diagnosis” and how did this pertain to Amy?
• Of what value is “the Statue?”
• What was the result of Amy’s doubting of her treatment plan?
• How did Amy defy the authority of her initial Primary Care Physician, “Dr. C”?
• What was the aftermath of the medical malpractice lawsuit?
• What was the outcome of the advice of Amy’s initial physicians?
• Unfulfilled promises led to what kind of important patient tool?
• How can we make doctors care about the entire patient instead of “check  the box” items?
• Where is further research being conducted regarding ACE?
• What is the benchmark score that would predict the likelihood of adult illnesses?
• What happens after the ACE Study?
• What populations were tested with the ACE Survey and what are the implications?
• What’s the Number 1 cause of premature death?
• Does it really matter what happened for the first 18 years of your life?
• Do we cause all of our medical problems?
• What were the family relationships in Amy’s quest for survival?
• What is the significance of the location of Amy’s tumor?
• What were the happy things?
• What was the history of child protective services and the trends today?

Postscript from Ladyjustice:

A very special message-  a 3 minute 57 second video “Her Diamonds” from Rob Thomas who is the songwriter and lead singer of the band Matchbox Twenty, as well as a solo artist who has performed with many other musicians, earning three Grammys co-writing with Carlos Santana on the hit track "Smooth."   The song, "Her Diamonds"  references his wife Marisol's auto-immune disease.

From Wikipedia:

Thomas and his wife Marisol Maldonado married on October 2, 1999 and currently live in Bedford, New York. The couple also have a home on Lake Marion in Manning, South Carolina. Thomas has a son named Maison (born July 10, 1998) from a previous relationship. The Thomases are committed animal lovers and supporters of animal charities.

Rob and his wife have established the Sidewalk Angels Foundation,^[9] a non-profit organization created to help needy people in and around America’s big cities by partnering with various charities to assist people who cannot afford medical care, and animals that have been abandoned or abused.

Beautiful composition and interesting coincidences!

‘For you too Amy Susan...

 

The comments expressed on this website or on the broadcasts of Shattered Lives do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the hosts, producers, or other guests.

Healing Happens...

Yes, it does. I'm witnessing it with the release of my book among those who have read it and shared their personal stories with me.

Besides being an "inspiration" or an "example of strength and survival," the comments that hit me hardest are those that tell me I have broken through a barrier to one's own healing and they have taken steps (or, simply, one step) towards making positive, guided changes in their life.

This inspires me to continue. This urges me forward with my own constant health care. This is why I wrote the book.

Someone very near and dear to me has made a tremendous breakthrough simply by digesting the words and applying them through elective counseling and therapy. If this was the sole reason for my book's publication, I am more than grateful. I am elated. Others, too, are telling me similar stories; ones that break my heart but are also so uplifting because I know these readers are on their way to healing individual trauma.

Those of us who have been impacted by childhood abuse or maltreatment understand the lifelong effects. And, as I keep repeating, current studies, like The ACE Study, reveal that we are more prone to adult physical illness. We are 'damaged goods' and have to strive to break the mold that was set for us as youngsters. It is never easy to be told by anyone, including a trained professional, that in order to fully heal, we must revisit our past - open up old wounds; remember things we don't want to remember or can't even remember. Dig deeper, they say. And my book is like the back hoe.

I am amazed.

This week I have a private book launch party scheduled in the south. About 40 friends and others are planning to attend. I am overwhelmed with the response and while I learn how to communicate my message verbally as well as by the written word, I am getting excited about replicating this event in New York and other places around the country. I'm also keeping a close eye on not wearing myself out and inducing a flare of my own chronic illnesses.

This is a personal post rather than an educational one. Thank you for the indulgence. Thank you for believing in what I have to say. Thank you for allowing me to live my life among the strongest people I know - those who are always seeking to improve, to change, to heal.

Healing happens.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/

There is a Safe Place for children - in Philadelphia!

Hey PHILADELPHIA! Congratulations!

I am so happy to read about Safe Place: The Center for Child Protection and Health and Cindy Christian, M.D. who won this year's international Ray E. Helfer Award for physicians dedicated to treating and preventing child abuse. The Ray E. Helfer Society's mission is "to help prevent and reduce the harm resulting from child maltreatment, by advancing the work of physicians in the areas of education, clinical care, research, and advocacy."

Dr. Christian of The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) was recognized this month for developing and then bringing to doctors' offices "an educational program to help 'front line' healthcare providers recognize and respond effectively to child abuse and neglect cases." She also co-edited the third edition of the classic text Child Abuse: Medical Diagnosis and Management and has made significant additions to the knowledge base of child maltreatment prevention.

Moreover, Safe Place is staffed by an interdisciplinary team of physicians, psychologists, social workers and other hospital personnel designed to provide the best care to children and families dealing with child abuse or neglect.

Hooray team! Could we ask for anything more?

Cooperation among health care providers and those who work to protect children in all cases is key to recognizing and eliminating this epidemic in our society. Have no doubt, people, it is epidemic. According to The Children's Wall of Tears founders Jane Lemond Alvarez and Leo Alvarez, 2500 children are killed each month at the hands of parents, caregivers and/or boyfriends and girlfriends of the parents.

And my own research reveals that those who are maltreated or abused as children are pre-disposed biologically and physiologically to adult physical illness. (See The ACE Study), I hate to keep repeating the same thing over and over again, but we all need to stop the cycle at its core - at home and in the courts who return children to their abusers over and over again.

Thank you, Dr. Cindy Christian and Safe Place. Let's see if this model can be copied all over the world!

What day is it?

As we are now well into the holiday season that starts with Halloween and ends, in my jaded opinion, with the only month that has no official holiday (August), I wake up and think it's Friday when it's Monday; or Wednesday when it's Tuesday and so on. I know many of you do, too.

But looking at it in a more metaphorical sense, the simple question, "what day is it," can be whatever we choose it to be. For example, This day, for me, is a rest and catch-up day. It's also a day when I select to listen to holiday music of my own free will, rather than being assaulted by it in retail stores, supermarkets, or train stations. Music of this season makes many of us sad and constant, unsolicited reminders of holiday time is difficult.

When my children were young and leaving to catch the school bus, I would say 'make a great day' instead of 'have a good day.' They hated it. But I secretly hope it is a phrase they will use with their own children. Or, perhaps, they think of it on their own now as young adults. This is exactly what Dr. Wayne Dyer writes and speaks about, especially when it comes to personal challenges, dreams and/or goals. Each day is in your hands and so are the personal manifestations of health and wellness you seek to achieve.

Delving further into our psyche, The ACE Study (Adverse Childhood Effects) helps me understand why I am the way I am and forces me to choose what to do with a day. This is because I observed firsthand how my own family threw so many days away due to dysfunction, mental illness, and outright self-abuse and abuse of those around them.

But this is just my experience. Those with chronic illness can not and should not try to find definitive links to anything that may have 'caused' their disease. Even in my case - although I think I have it figured out - it is highly possible that I would have been prone to getting cancer and Lupus regardless of how I grew up. Writing my memoir has been like conducting a research project. It didn't start out that way but one day I decided it was. It was a Tuesday, I think.

From http://acestudy.org/