Feeling GROOVY!

Hello lamp post, whatcha knowing; I think you've got some flowers growing.

Ain't ya got no time for me; boop bee dee boop boop feeling groovy!

It's the very first song I learned on guitar as a young girl in the '60s. I was so excited! I felt part of a revolution generation where everything was going to be wonderful, loving and happy! 

A few weeks ago, I was in an awful Lupus flare and, yes, I was the lamp post - stuck because I was in so much pain. But then a wonderful thing happened - some flowers started growing around me and I've come alive again.

In the past week, I've been blessed with a wonderful, private book launch party, a FREE promotion on Amazon Kindle that has attracted over 150 downloads in just two days, a raffle for 10 of my books on goodreads where 235 readers have entered and added DYING TO LIVE: Running backwards through cancer, Lupus and Chronic illness to their "want to read" lists and I'm taping a local television show in Myrtle Beach, SC today. It is called Your Health is Wealth with Dalal Akoury, M.D. I will be representing the cancer patient's point of view.

Flowers, flowers everywhere!

And those are just the successes I'm having right now. Some of my colleagues and friends who also struggle with chronic illness are in the midst of celebratory events as well. I am as excited for them as I am for me.

Yet, unfortunately, I wait. I wait for the ax to fall; the shoe to drop. I know this time will be fleeting since my ailments are so unpredictable. I'm continuing with the new integrative/functional medicine diet and supplements and find that I am feeling better but I still can't attribute any of it to my overall well-being. Time will tell. It is still too soon. I am hopeful.

And that's the best those of us who are sick can do - be hopeful and helpful to others who are experiencing the same. I try. I wake each day wondering what small steps I can take and in what order I will take them. I know today is a biggie with the television show taping, so tomorrow will be a day of rest. I've learned that much.

So go off today and enjoy that shower if that's all you can do. Do an errand. Visit with a pal. Write a poem. If you can't leave your bed, that's okay, too. Place a vase of beautifully smelling flowers next to your bed. Inhale their scent and know that even though you're the lamp post today, seeds are already being planted for you for tomorrow.

Book launch party at Coastal Wine Boutique, Myrtle Beach, SC

Just Scared

As someone who made a career out of being 'behind the scenes' helping bosses and clients look their best through my writing, coaching, and media spinning, it is all I can do but contain my fright as I launch the real me into the world with my memoir.

DYING TO LIVE: Running backwards through cancer, Lupus, and chronic illness has not only been a four-year journey of writing and re-writing, it has been a catharsis for me, healing many wounds that had been buried all my life. I am no longer the observer of my youth and now people will be watching me! I'm scared. 

Many people say they feel lucky to have had a life-changing trauma because life become rosier - or we learn the hard way to take the time to truly smell the roses, as the saying goes. I do, too. However, life continues as usual with all the ups and downs - a veritable roller coaster ride of triumphs and tragedies. It's what we 'survivors' do with them that sets us apart.

• Accept each blow with as much grace as possible
• Celebrate every milestone heartily
• Find the funny in every day
• Know that sadness and/or depression and/or physical pain will pass in time
• Arm ourselves with medical knowledge, particularly relevant to our own chronic conditions
• Live each day as if it is our last - a trite saying but altogether too true

I received the actual PROOF of my book last week. I was joyous! I couldn't wait to show it to as many people as I could. And then I crashed, saddened that some are no longer here to share it's physical-ness with me. In particular, I think of my parents - both writers either professionally and/or personally. My father longed to write a novel and, although he published several work-related "How To" books, he never found the time to write his thriller.

My mother dabbled in creative expression through poetry. Her poems were hauntingly beautiful, much like she was as a person. She was especially thrilled when I sent her my first news story with a byline in the early 1980's. My extended family, for various reasons, is not near enough either physically and/or emotionally right this minute to have a hands-on experience with me even though this memoir could not be completed without them. I  can't wait to send them their final hard copies. 

And my husband simply cried at the rawness of it all. 

So, I sit here today anxious for the book to finally be available for sale on Amazon and numb that the writing of it is over. Sure, I have set new goals (it's just what I do) and am doing as much traditional and social media marketing as I possibly can to raise awareness of how childhood maltreatment does lead to adult physical illness; plus how regular people, like me, can survive and live with chronic ailments without succumbing to disease or dis-ease, as I like to write. 

Carry on, my friends. Just carry on...'cause I want to get old with you. 

Holding My Hand Through Hell; By: Susan Murphy Milano

My dear friend and colleague, Susan Murphy Milano, had a virtual book launch last week. For the first time, Susan has written about herself and her early years into adulthood - years in which she witnessed her police officer father continually abuse her mother. Tragically, Susan's story leads to the death of both parents.

Today, due to her ongoing struggle with Stage 4 cancer, Susan can not travel and meet many of the thousands of victims she has helped as a tireless advocate for how to leave a relationship that includes intimate partner abuse. Her first book, Time's Up, was the impetus for so many to leave such dangerous relationships. Susan has saved many lives.

Another breakthrough for victims is Susan's creation of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, born from the lunacy of the Drew Peterson case and his still missing fourth wife, Stacey Peterson. You can find it at the following link:
Document The Abuse

But most of all, I commend the woman who has thrown herself at life, knocking down walls and smashing through windows to help any and all victims at any cost. Her battle now is one that I know she faces with great courage and wisdom and grace (sprinkled with a little anger here and there, I'm sure). Never one to think of herself first, Susan has no health insurance. Fundraising continues daily for this brave and tireless crusader. Here are two links to fundraising sites. I hope you will take the time to learn a little about Susan and her miraculous work. She is a treasure and we can't afford to lose her.
Holding Her Hand Towards Heaven
Love, Susan

NOTE: I just read the latest Conquering Cancer blog post (above) and am devastated to learn the latest news. Please visit the sites and help any way you can. Thank you. And to my beloved Susan, may God hold you in his lap and keep you with Him always.