The 2004 movie Crash is one of my favorite films. It's innovative take on race relations slamming head on was mind bending and also, to me, numbing.
While I am not going to discuss how diverse groups of people get along (or not) here, I am simply co-opting the word "Crash" to describe how I feel after semi-launching my book and working too many hours on projects on my endless 'to-do' list. Numb and in pain.
As someone with Lupus, fibromyalgia, and a host of life-long side effects from aggressive chemotherapy and other tests and treatments for cancer (in remission), my physical body still crashes every now and then; particularly if I do too much in a short period of time. *Sigh.*
It is not my nature to sit still. I love being busy. I just have to drag my body along sometimes and it's tiring and frustrating. Pity party ends at midnight tonight - no excuses. Promise!
A family member recently became close to complete paralysis due to a fall. He faces at least a year of dragging his body around until he reaches his 'new normal.' I deeply feel his pain as well as his resilience. He will get better because he wants to. It will take time and hard, tiring work.
Motivation is a funny thing. It propels us and, yet, sometimes eludes those of us with chronic illness, particularly of the auto-immune kind. We can never quite understand why our own bodies' chemistry turns against us. I am grateful that this is a prime area of medical study these days, according to my doctors who continue to surprise me with what they are learning and how they are changing treatments for a myriad of diseases.
So 'rah rah' for the immune system today! I will get a shower, eat healthy food and carry on with an important day where I must focus on my son. He is today's priority and the rest of the 'to-do' list will just have to wait.