Monday, May 11, 2015

Throwaway days...

No, I don't mean trash, although getting rid of one item a day to declutter our houses is probably a good idea. I'm talking about those days where those of us with chronic illness have to stay in bed or on the couch or in the recliner and miss out - a throwaway day.

The throwaway day is gone forever and we have many of them; typically after exerting ourselves the day or two before and that includes any events where we might have had fun! It's a constant balancing act.

On my throwaway days, I am usually in bed, in pain, exhausted, and with various symptoms from either my Lupus, Sjrogens, gastroparesis, fibromyalgia, or all of them. Pick a poison for there is no rationale. Could I have a virus? Sure. Could I be getting stomach bug? I guess so, but, most likely, it's just one of those days that go down the rabbit hole for no apparent reason except my chronic ailments.

I hate them.

Yeah. I'll say it again. I HATE THEM. But that doesn't make me stop wishing for a better day tomorrow and getting myself up and out again. I'm always optimistic yet cautionary as I move about my days. Monitoring myself is difficult when there are so many things going on 'behind the scenes.' But I do it anyway for I have life to live, people to see, places to go, and so many things I want to do.

I still haven't scheduled the camera test - the one where I fast for nearly 24 hours and then swallow a big pill with a little camera in it to scope out my small intestines. I'm scared. There are a certain percentage of people whose cameras get stuck and have to be removed surgically. With everything that's happened to me, I fear I will be THAT one.

But I will do it. I always do and I'll hope the results give me better answers to manage day-to-day.
Please don't throw away your days if you don't have to. Bank them for me and others with chronic illness. We will gladly take them off your hands.

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