Thursday, October 15, 2015

Chapter IV: Settlement of my Soul

If I try to separate my life into Chapters, I get four:

  1. Birth to Young adult
  2. Work, Marriage and Children
  3. Cancer, Lupus and Chronic Illness
  4. Settlement of my Soul
Astonished as I am that I still live and reach goals I never thought possible, it is this Chapter, number four, that is the most intriguing. It's the latter third of my life. All the things and people and places I grasped at and for the past 55 years has led me to  reconciliation of my soul's desire.

It's unusual yet so very, very gratifying. What did I yearn for as a child besides a pony? What actions or activities made my heart sing? How many life lessons have I learned? Where am I going from here?

Moving from my native New York to a southern state where the air is warmer, cleaner and the ocean is nearby nourishes my soul. Having access to nature and wildlife of all kinds - including alligators - continually surprises me. Squirrels' tails are less bushy here since they don't need the warmth from the extra hair so now they really look like rats with tails. Poinsettia plants grow naturally here, a discovery I made by accident as a green plant slowly turned red last winter and I had an "aha" moment. The bark of the many different types of palm trees reminds me of the hardness or softness of people. The storms are just part of the day. 

I have time to explore, gaze, or reason. I get to think uninterrupted. I have found my "final resting place,"  a phrase that disturbs some of my friends and family. After all the hub-bub of a very rich yet difficult life, I get to ask myself: "What did I enjoy doing most when I had the time to do it?" The answers are coming to me slowly but surely and I will do everything in my power to honor my soul's desire. 

While it sounds trite, it is my life and I am blessed to be able to live it regardless of the physical encumbrances I bear and the emotional scars from the tragedies I've endured. You've been reading my "book" for awhile now. Everything stems from my soul and each day gives me another opportunity to give it its due.  


  1. It's a good time of life, isn't it? The young seem to dislike the thought (or perhaps fear it ) of aging, but for those of us who reach it and are fortunate enough to be able to slow down and look around us, we can truly enjoy our latter years. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed working (and I truly did) I finally came to understand what my first manager in the aerospace business meant when he told me, "This is what I do eight hours a day so I can afford to actually "live" the rest of the time."

    He was the same one who pointed out to me how very important it was to like the people you work closely with. As he put it, "I spend more of my waking hours with you than I do with my wife."


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